Dead End Jobs

Oh, what a funk I'm in. I graduated from college with a Bachelor's degree in Telecommunications over seven years ago, and I have nothing to show for it yet. Don't get me wrong. I regret nothing from my college experience. I met my husband who I'm still with today and we have a beautiful daughter. I'm more knowledgeable and cultured than I expected to be. I have real world experience outside of my hometown. I am thankful for the all the lessons I've learned during that time. I don't consider it a waste, but I do have my frustrations.

I was a star student as a child. I always had a high G.P.A. I graduated from high school in the top 10 of my class with honors. College made sense. That's where all the star students were expected to go. I actually finished college with a 2.9 G.P.A. I know that's not impressive compared to all the magna and summa cum laude students, but I went through a lot to get that degree. I'm proud of it, and I won't let anyone take away its significance and what it means to me. However, I didn't land any internships or make any connections that helped me build experience. It wasn't from lack of effort. I just wasn't the luck of the draw. My first job outside of graduation was at David's Bridal where I worked for six months. I loved being a part of making a bride's big day special, but it didn't pay enough to meet my needs. I eventually ended up at Walmart and I've been there ever since.

I have tried countless times over the years to secure a job in my field. I have filled out so many applications. Seeing the words "thank you for your interest" trigger me. Applying for jobs that don't list the salary trigger me. Working for exposure and not a check triggers me. It's really gotten to a point where I've given up hope. My current position allows me to service so many executives within the company. My husband works within the corporate office as well, and has been working to build our connections to help me. Yet, I'm still in the same place I began.

It just feels that no matter how hard I work, I'm never going to elevate. I feel so invisible. I feel so overworked and undervalued. I know that I can offer more to the company or any employer who will pay me enough. I just want to fulfill my dreams.

My dreams? I have so many. I want a high rise in Chicago with a beautiful view of the city. I want to own a house in my old neighborhood. I want to travel the world and experience the best each culture has to offer. I want different stories to tell for the rest of my life. So many people tell me I'm high maintenance and "bougie" for wanting a luxurious life. I don't feel like it's lot to ask for. I feel like I can achieve those goals. Sure, people joke around saying that I can start an OnlyFans account to make the dreams come true. I laugh, but it sad that people believe that's all I can do.

I'm tired of being surrounded by people who only come to work to do nothing. I'm tired of being the only person who seems to give a fuck if the place crashes and burns. I'm tired of feeling like the whole department will blow to pieces if I'm not there. I don't get enough money for the hardships I endure. Nor the recognition. I'm ready to move on.

I do have hope that I will achieve at least one of these dreams someday. I will continue to pray until something happens.